HOW WILL I COPE ? - Episode 4
Just opening my eyes, I hear the adhan. I check
on my watch, it is almost time for fajr solat. I get
up, walk into the bathroom to perform wudh'u.
Back into the room, I catch sight of my wife, still
sleeping soundly like a baby. She is so fragile,
easily gets hurt. I wish to never make her cry,
"Alhamdulillah for giving me this precious gem
and never let me regret this my action ya Allah!
You know the best of my intention" I sincerely
pray.
I walk towards the bed and give her a peck on
the cheek and this wakes her.
Trying to open her eyes, "fajr?" She asks
"Yes dear" I reply as am dressing up
"Have you bath already? and you didn't wake me"
she franks, trying to get up as well
"Am very sorry, I did that after you slept off and I
didn't want to interrupt your sound sleep, I have
stressed too much of you" I jokingly reply, she
smiles
She sluggishly get off the bed, she is still
stressed, poor girl! I watch her as she walks into
the bathroom to purify herself for solat.
Now off to Masjid, it remains just 15 minutes for
the solat to commence and I want to pray the
nawafil before the solat because there is no
nawafil after fajr solat, so I hurry. Entering the
Masjid, my eyes come in contact with Abu
Summayah's and he makes a gesture to greet
me, I also reply him with gesture and I start to
pray my nawafil...
After the congregation fajr prayer, I start my
morning adhkars. I can sense Abu Summayah's
glances on me, maybe he is waiting for me - I
guess. Am just guessing but am not sure
because I don't think he saw me yesterday night,
only if he did then my guessing will be right.
I finish my adhkar, when am about to exit the
masjid I hear his salam from behind, he catches
up with me. He meets me outside the masjid. We
exchange greetings and he asks me to spare him
some of my time. We walk towards a shade
where we sit,
"Akhy, I saw you yesterday night at my house.
What brought you there?" He asks
"I was coming from masjid when i heard their
voices, I knew that is your house so I wondered
what was happening, that was why I branched..."
I reply while he cuts in
"I was very ashamed of myself when I saw you
there yesterday especially when they got you
involved, in fact those women are just becoming
something else, am very sorry for any trouble
they caused you" he says with shame written all
over his face
"Sir, you don't have to! I understand but sir,
something bothered my mind that yesterday" I
say
"Go ahead dear brother, what is it?" He asks
"I heard those women are your wives and I didn't
expect to see you just watching them fighting as
you did, why? Hope no problem?" I ask with
concern
"Hmm! They are truly my wives but what they did
yesterday was beyond my control so I had to
leave them to finish what they started, then I get
back to them. You know what my brother,
women have no limit when they fight each other,
they fight with their eyes closed that if I were to
do any kind of act to stop that fight, they won't
obey me and I would be so shameful. Thanks to
those that were there yesterday night that they
couldn't harm themselves" he says
"Polygamy!" I exclaim
"Why that brother? Even women who share not
the same husband and live under the same roof
do fight. That is just some concepts of women
you can never understand, I come from a
peaceful polygamous family..." He tries to
expound while I cut in trying to stop this lengthy
talk on polygamy, he is making me think like a
coward already, "it is true sir, hope everything is
well now, how are they?"
"They? You mean the Ummus? Both of them are
now in the parents' houses? He says with
confidence
This takes me aback, "why their parents houses?
Don't tell me you divorce them sir" I ask with
curiosity, now I adjust my sitting position willing
to hear more!
"Yes, their parents house! They also knew right
from the start that they will go there, whenever
they initiate such a war in my house, this has
been my policy ever since they became two. I
usually send them to their parents to go and
learn more marital etiquette for like a month or
two. I have been forgiving them for some years
back now because they didn't went extreme, i
think that gives them the liver to fight to that
extent yesterday. They think i will just pardon
them as usual but that of yesterday was too
much, they even involved their children and they
are spending two months in shaa Allah without
any kobo from me..."
I cut in, "but sir, isn't that too much for them
and for you and what about the children?" I ask
"Do you mean sexually? Ahah, no! I can hold for
that period and they also can, their families will
feed them till they feel remorseful then I will see
to their finances again but they are spending
that two months there. And it works Akhy, when
they return to my house they will strive to keep
peace again. See, they are also women of the
deen though their immature women personality
just take over them most of times. And the
children are already fine together, they can take
care of themselves. My Summayah is now 24yrs
of age and my Mutmaynah will soon clock 20, am
even planning Nikkah for both of them very soon"
he says
"OK sir, barakallahu Fihi! But Sir, am sorry to ask
you this question, why did you marry two wives" I
ask
"Hmm! Akhy , whenever I think about why I
married a second wife from the start, I am
always saddened and usually seek istighfar from
Allah because I didn't do it for the sake of Allah
then I had very little or no knowledge of this
deen. Even I always think the chaos that
sometimes happen in my family is due to that
fact. My first wife was young and lovely when I
married her, within 4 years of our marriage we
had three lovely daughters already, very very fast
but I wasn't happy because they are all females.
I had this passion for a male child because I am
the only child and son of my Mum, my mum was
my Dad's third wife. Out of patient after our third
daughter was born, I took in another wife with
the hope and aim of having male children. This
changed my wife completely because I did it
when she never expected it, it was like stabbing
her at the back. I didn't even inform her cos I
heard there is no delil that necessitates
informing one's wife before taking in another
wife and I never care even though I heard there
is no delil that forbids it either because informing
one's wife before hand seems to make peace
more than not informing her. Like I said, my wife
changed from a lovely wife to an aggressive
woman and even worst when she heard i married
because of male children, also my new wife do
stand like a boss in the house because she is
older than her. It wasn't fun then Akhy, despite
marrying a second wife, I still haven't had a son.
You see the work of Allah? Allahu Akbar.."he
says with traces of pain in his voice, he
continues "but Alhamdulillah, after Allah has
straighten my way in the deen. Everything about
myself and my home become better,
Alhamdulillah! I most time feel the sweetness of
polygamy now unlike before though my mistake
is still there, polygamy is sweet Akhy if you do it
in a right halal way with an halal intention for the
sake of Allah alone. Different men practice
polygamy for different reasons, then either of the
wives becomes the thorn in the family's flesh or
all the wives become THE THORNS, then the
husband suffers the most. Polygamy success
base on why you do it! learn from my mistake my
dear brother" he concluded with a sigh
"Alhamdulillah sir, I really thank Allah for you.
May Allah forgives us and our shortcomings" I
pray and we both chorus Ameen while he stands
and I also stand, he shakes me with passion
"thank you very much for your time Akhy,
jazaakumullah khairan! I really appreciate this. It
is good to have a brother to talk to" he says with
a smile, I can see the relief in him. Now I notice
some white hairs in his beards, still his beards
look lovely,
"Ameen, wa antum fajazaakumullah khairan. You
are very welcome sir" I reply with a smile, it is
sunnah!
We both set off to our home, we later depart and
go our separate ways. On my way, many thought
creeps into my mind. "Different people practice
polygamy for different reasons", really? Am I
really doing mine for the sake of Allah? This
thought alone makes me feel terrified, what if i
am not and Allah punishes me also for it. Now,
am not sure...
Now reaching our estate, as I enter the gate I
see Ummu Yaseer waiting patiently for me in
front of our apartment. I check my wrist watch
as I walk forward, Subhanallah! It is past 7
already, chai... I should have texted her that I
would be this late.
"Am sorry dear, I was conversing with someone
at the masjid" I say as I approach
"You should have at least texted me, I was so
worried because it is very unusual of you" she
replies as she tries to get back into the house
when I take hold of her hand and I draw her
back,
"Your niqab is not well tied, lemme help you" I
say
"Don't worry, I jes put it on when I wanted to
wait for you outside. Am going no where so am
taking it off inside" she replies while I insist, she
stands still and I start ligating her niqab. I
learned to do this peferctly from my Ummu. A
male neighbor who recently pack in with his
family just about two weeks passes in front of
our apartment, he stares at us and I never care
about any public decorum when showing my wife
love, in as much as it is halal to do. The man
stares at us even more like we are a drama, "he
can't even greets" I murmur
"Now, it is done" I say while she turns to face
me,
"Habeeby, I hope you will never stop caring for
me" she softly says
"In shaa Allah! Habeebaty, in as much as am
alive with you" I reply
We both enter, still these thoughts still cloud my
mind. I don't ever want to see a negative side of
my wife, this side of her is the best, am not sure
of what the other side could look like, I really
have no idea because we never fought even we
rarely have an argument.
Now I remember today is Sunday, I have to go to
the gym, also I think I have to branch at
Zaynab's residence. I have a few talk for her! I
quickly rush into the bathroom, after my bath I
dress up in my sportswear. I pick up my car key
and about to go out when she calls on me, "wait,
why hurrying?" She shouts from the kitchen. She
comes to me and hand me a plate of cookies,
"Maa'sha'Allah! I have really missed your cookies
since the kids have gone for holiday" I smile, "I
may be a little late dear, I have to branch at
somewhere"
"Somewhere? Where, if I may ask?" she asks, I
can sense suspicion in her question. How will I
tell her I will be late because I want to branch at
my mathna to-be house? It will just upset her or
make her cry till I return again.
"Just somewhere habeebaty, don't worry I will be
back before Ashr" I reply, I give her a kiss, say
my salam and hurry out before she could say
another word.
"Don't take too long o, you know am the only one
at home" she says as I drive off...
Just opening my eyes, I hear the adhan. I check
on my watch, it is almost time for fajr solat. I get
up, walk into the bathroom to perform wudh'u.
Back into the room, I catch sight of my wife, still
sleeping soundly like a baby. She is so fragile,
easily gets hurt. I wish to never make her cry,
"Alhamdulillah for giving me this precious gem
and never let me regret this my action ya Allah!
You know the best of my intention" I sincerely
pray.
I walk towards the bed and give her a peck on
the cheek and this wakes her.
Trying to open her eyes, "fajr?" She asks
"Yes dear" I reply as am dressing up
"Have you bath already? and you didn't wake me"
she franks, trying to get up as well
"Am very sorry, I did that after you slept off and I
didn't want to interrupt your sound sleep, I have
stressed too much of you" I jokingly reply, she
smiles
She sluggishly get off the bed, she is still
stressed, poor girl! I watch her as she walks into
the bathroom to purify herself for solat.
Now off to Masjid, it remains just 15 minutes for
the solat to commence and I want to pray the
nawafil before the solat because there is no
nawafil after fajr solat, so I hurry. Entering the
Masjid, my eyes come in contact with Abu
Summayah's and he makes a gesture to greet
me, I also reply him with gesture and I start to
pray my nawafil...
After the congregation fajr prayer, I start my
morning adhkars. I can sense Abu Summayah's
glances on me, maybe he is waiting for me - I
guess. Am just guessing but am not sure
because I don't think he saw me yesterday night,
only if he did then my guessing will be right.
I finish my adhkar, when am about to exit the
masjid I hear his salam from behind, he catches
up with me. He meets me outside the masjid. We
exchange greetings and he asks me to spare him
some of my time. We walk towards a shade
where we sit,
"Akhy, I saw you yesterday night at my house.
What brought you there?" He asks
"I was coming from masjid when i heard their
voices, I knew that is your house so I wondered
what was happening, that was why I branched..."
I reply while he cuts in
"I was very ashamed of myself when I saw you
there yesterday especially when they got you
involved, in fact those women are just becoming
something else, am very sorry for any trouble
they caused you" he says with shame written all
over his face
"Sir, you don't have to! I understand but sir,
something bothered my mind that yesterday" I
say
"Go ahead dear brother, what is it?" He asks
"I heard those women are your wives and I didn't
expect to see you just watching them fighting as
you did, why? Hope no problem?" I ask with
concern
"Hmm! They are truly my wives but what they did
yesterday was beyond my control so I had to
leave them to finish what they started, then I get
back to them. You know what my brother,
women have no limit when they fight each other,
they fight with their eyes closed that if I were to
do any kind of act to stop that fight, they won't
obey me and I would be so shameful. Thanks to
those that were there yesterday night that they
couldn't harm themselves" he says
"Polygamy!" I exclaim
"Why that brother? Even women who share not
the same husband and live under the same roof
do fight. That is just some concepts of women
you can never understand, I come from a
peaceful polygamous family..." He tries to
expound while I cut in trying to stop this lengthy
talk on polygamy, he is making me think like a
coward already, "it is true sir, hope everything is
well now, how are they?"
"They? You mean the Ummus? Both of them are
now in the parents' houses? He says with
confidence
This takes me aback, "why their parents houses?
Don't tell me you divorce them sir" I ask with
curiosity, now I adjust my sitting position willing
to hear more!
"Yes, their parents house! They also knew right
from the start that they will go there, whenever
they initiate such a war in my house, this has
been my policy ever since they became two. I
usually send them to their parents to go and
learn more marital etiquette for like a month or
two. I have been forgiving them for some years
back now because they didn't went extreme, i
think that gives them the liver to fight to that
extent yesterday. They think i will just pardon
them as usual but that of yesterday was too
much, they even involved their children and they
are spending two months in shaa Allah without
any kobo from me..."
I cut in, "but sir, isn't that too much for them
and for you and what about the children?" I ask
"Do you mean sexually? Ahah, no! I can hold for
that period and they also can, their families will
feed them till they feel remorseful then I will see
to their finances again but they are spending
that two months there. And it works Akhy, when
they return to my house they will strive to keep
peace again. See, they are also women of the
deen though their immature women personality
just take over them most of times. And the
children are already fine together, they can take
care of themselves. My Summayah is now 24yrs
of age and my Mutmaynah will soon clock 20, am
even planning Nikkah for both of them very soon"
he says
"OK sir, barakallahu Fihi! But Sir, am sorry to ask
you this question, why did you marry two wives" I
ask
"Hmm! Akhy , whenever I think about why I
married a second wife from the start, I am
always saddened and usually seek istighfar from
Allah because I didn't do it for the sake of Allah
then I had very little or no knowledge of this
deen. Even I always think the chaos that
sometimes happen in my family is due to that
fact. My first wife was young and lovely when I
married her, within 4 years of our marriage we
had three lovely daughters already, very very fast
but I wasn't happy because they are all females.
I had this passion for a male child because I am
the only child and son of my Mum, my mum was
my Dad's third wife. Out of patient after our third
daughter was born, I took in another wife with
the hope and aim of having male children. This
changed my wife completely because I did it
when she never expected it, it was like stabbing
her at the back. I didn't even inform her cos I
heard there is no delil that necessitates
informing one's wife before taking in another
wife and I never care even though I heard there
is no delil that forbids it either because informing
one's wife before hand seems to make peace
more than not informing her. Like I said, my wife
changed from a lovely wife to an aggressive
woman and even worst when she heard i married
because of male children, also my new wife do
stand like a boss in the house because she is
older than her. It wasn't fun then Akhy, despite
marrying a second wife, I still haven't had a son.
You see the work of Allah? Allahu Akbar.."he
says with traces of pain in his voice, he
continues "but Alhamdulillah, after Allah has
straighten my way in the deen. Everything about
myself and my home become better,
Alhamdulillah! I most time feel the sweetness of
polygamy now unlike before though my mistake
is still there, polygamy is sweet Akhy if you do it
in a right halal way with an halal intention for the
sake of Allah alone. Different men practice
polygamy for different reasons, then either of the
wives becomes the thorn in the family's flesh or
all the wives become THE THORNS, then the
husband suffers the most. Polygamy success
base on why you do it! learn from my mistake my
dear brother" he concluded with a sigh
"Alhamdulillah sir, I really thank Allah for you.
May Allah forgives us and our shortcomings" I
pray and we both chorus Ameen while he stands
and I also stand, he shakes me with passion
"thank you very much for your time Akhy,
jazaakumullah khairan! I really appreciate this. It
is good to have a brother to talk to" he says with
a smile, I can see the relief in him. Now I notice
some white hairs in his beards, still his beards
look lovely,
"Ameen, wa antum fajazaakumullah khairan. You
are very welcome sir" I reply with a smile, it is
sunnah!
We both set off to our home, we later depart and
go our separate ways. On my way, many thought
creeps into my mind. "Different people practice
polygamy for different reasons", really? Am I
really doing mine for the sake of Allah? This
thought alone makes me feel terrified, what if i
am not and Allah punishes me also for it. Now,
am not sure...
Now reaching our estate, as I enter the gate I
see Ummu Yaseer waiting patiently for me in
front of our apartment. I check my wrist watch
as I walk forward, Subhanallah! It is past 7
already, chai... I should have texted her that I
would be this late.
"Am sorry dear, I was conversing with someone
at the masjid" I say as I approach
"You should have at least texted me, I was so
worried because it is very unusual of you" she
replies as she tries to get back into the house
when I take hold of her hand and I draw her
back,
"Your niqab is not well tied, lemme help you" I
say
"Don't worry, I jes put it on when I wanted to
wait for you outside. Am going no where so am
taking it off inside" she replies while I insist, she
stands still and I start ligating her niqab. I
learned to do this peferctly from my Ummu. A
male neighbor who recently pack in with his
family just about two weeks passes in front of
our apartment, he stares at us and I never care
about any public decorum when showing my wife
love, in as much as it is halal to do. The man
stares at us even more like we are a drama, "he
can't even greets" I murmur
"Now, it is done" I say while she turns to face
me,
"Habeeby, I hope you will never stop caring for
me" she softly says
"In shaa Allah! Habeebaty, in as much as am
alive with you" I reply
We both enter, still these thoughts still cloud my
mind. I don't ever want to see a negative side of
my wife, this side of her is the best, am not sure
of what the other side could look like, I really
have no idea because we never fought even we
rarely have an argument.
Now I remember today is Sunday, I have to go to
the gym, also I think I have to branch at
Zaynab's residence. I have a few talk for her! I
quickly rush into the bathroom, after my bath I
dress up in my sportswear. I pick up my car key
and about to go out when she calls on me, "wait,
why hurrying?" She shouts from the kitchen. She
comes to me and hand me a plate of cookies,
"Maa'sha'Allah! I have really missed your cookies
since the kids have gone for holiday" I smile, "I
may be a little late dear, I have to branch at
somewhere"
"Somewhere? Where, if I may ask?" she asks, I
can sense suspicion in her question. How will I
tell her I will be late because I want to branch at
my mathna to-be house? It will just upset her or
make her cry till I return again.
"Just somewhere habeebaty, don't worry I will be
back before Ashr" I reply, I give her a kiss, say
my salam and hurry out before she could say
another word.
"Don't take too long o, you know am the only one
at home" she says as I drive off...
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